WHEN GOD FORGETS YOU

Karl Marx once wrote that religion is the opium of the masses. The fact is that time has not made that statement irrelevant, infact its importance can not be over emphasized. I remember growing up as a child and being told continuously “God is good”. But somehow through an act of omission or forgetfulness I was not told he was not a fair God. Is our God a fair God? I don’t think so, herein lies the problem. There is nothing as bad as the knowledge that God has forgotten you, it kills your spirit and you finally know the true meaning of the word hopelessness. You feel your life force slowly drain from you while you sit and watch. Positive thinkers come up to you and give you words of encouragement that does not solve your problem. They tell you rubbish that others have been through worse and survived. But the truth is you are the only one walking in your shoes hence the only one feeling the pain. I remember last year when Nne was dying of leukemia and the different charlatans all proposing to represent God milking the family of all available cash in the name of prayers. When they all realized she was indeed on her death bed they all disappeared because they did not want to associate there churches with failure.
Nothing kills the human spirit like failure most especially when you know there is nothing left to do. I remember the first time God forgot about me, it was in the year 2000/ 2001. Things got so bad for me, it was unbelievable. I just could not put any feet right, eventually it became an open quarrel between God and I; I stopped going to church, stopped praying and thought about going agnostic. But the problem with that is I really do believe in the existence of God. All my life I felt his presence, his goodness, his love. So my problem was not whether he existed or not , it was that I was abandoned . Eventually I and God settled our problem in a dramatic way. The story goes thus: I was dragged to church by force (these was after almost a year of absence) there was less than 20 people attending service that day, pews that could contain at least two thousand sat empty , I sat in a column that was completely empty except for me. NEPA as usual had a part to play in the plot as they took there light. It was about 7pm the service was rounding to a close so they did not bother putting on the generating set. I was sitting alone in that darkness thinking about my life and before I knew it tears stated flowing; before that day I had not cried for over 15 years. I wept my soul out in the service that day, I went home emotionally dry. The irony was that things changed for me that very day. All of a sudden God’s favour was upon me. I don’t know why things changed for the better, is it because I wept? Definitely not! Because I prayed? I don’t think so. All I did that day was complain. They say God works in mysterious ways and that his ways are not ours . So maybe I don’t understand how he does his things but one thing I do know is that when he forgets you it hurts like hell.